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James 1:19 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”


Recently, I have been dropping a lot of imaginary bricks on my feet. I'm not sure how the load became so heavy, but it's to the point where I cannot hold a single one more or they come tumbling down to my feet. I don't even remember where I picked up the first brick. I was probably bitter. The second one a little bit of lust. The third and fourth bricks are definitely worldly desires. The fifth pride. I could go on and on. It's amazing how quickly the weight of a brick adds up. Before you know it, you're stumbling and tripping all over them. The bricks I carry around sometimes dictate my mood, my likes and dislikes and even my decisions. 
I know that it doesn't matter how many bricks I accrue. I could have 5 bricks for every letter in the alphabet and it'd be okay. That part is hard for me to grasp. I can have 928342 bricks on my back and it's OKAY? Why would it ever be even close to okay? 
Mercy. Grace. A sovereign God. 
Although, sometimes these don't feel like answers to my tripping mess and sloppy life.. in my heart, I know Truth. And I know my human mind isn't always going to UNDERSTAND or even come close to fathoming grace, I just have to accept it; and know that it's not a free ticket to be a screwball and claim a "YOLO" life. But, rather, rest assured in the fact that my human tendencies are covered. 
Do I pick up more bricks because I know I'm covered by grace? No. 
When I land another brick, is it easy to let go and give up to God (Who has already covered my entirely with mercy and grace and doesn't even see this "brick") ? No. 
But my merciful God is also a patient one. 
Will He allow me to keep one carrying the weight of so many bricks, plus accumulated struggles and burdens and worries and hurt and fears all by myself? Yes.
Is He there the whole time..Yes. 
Does He want to help? YES! 
The only thing I need to do to quit dropping bricks on my feet is not to just cry out to Him. I feel like in all too desperate times we cry out to God when we should really be listening, all ears.
See we do the trudging along without His help and then we think we're humbling ourselves and swallowing our pride when we cry out to Him, and I guess we sort of are.. But a step further would be to just listen right? Just stop trying and HEAR what the God who can carry endless burdens has to say.
I'm no saint, not a leader, not the perfect friend, no Biblical guru, but I write all this because it's simply on my heart. And if it's on mine, then it's probably on someone else's too. 
This week smell like Jesus.
Don't let the devil eat your lunch.
Don't let pride steal your happiness.
Be a listener, not just to others but to your own heart and for the knocking from our great God.
He's there. Unload.