Just so you know

The past 2 weeks have felt like a long "out of body" experience. I'm not sure if you can relate to that, or if you'd want to really. I don't know how everything just starts to turn into a blur and get all mixed up and before I know it I'm the most introverted person I know. Sometimes I think that I messed up, I failed, just at life itself. Is that possible? Can I really screw up at calculus, or being a sister and a daughter, or at relationships and friendships, and physics and writing papers- can I seriously screw that up? Does it really matter? Noooooope. It's of this world, so it can't matter! That's a really flipping hard pill to swallow, right up there with pride.
Anyways, these past 2 weeks right? The Lord is showing me some amazing stuff. Looking back to just a month ago, I know He has big plans for this year and He is going to use me, but He's makin some changes for sure. School still blows, and I still suck at school, I do. But! He's getting me through it all and giving me the tools to keep me sane for a few more months. As for being a mega introvert for 2 weeks.. I'm not sure I know why that happened, I think I just created this huge web of stuff to take on and it basically got insanely tangled and I just shut down. I didn't do anything- I mean that literally. I haven't been to spin class in 2 weeks, I haven't been to Cru or The Tree, I haven't hung out with anyone, nadaaa! Lamesauce?! Yeah, but I needed it. I needed to figure out what the heck I was doing and WHY the heck I wasn't letting God do it.
Now that that stage is over and I'm moving on to the next scene in my life, I can tell you, those 2 weeks were well worth it. I would do it again for how the Lord has blessed my walk and given me the encouragement through random and unexpected experiences.

So if you were one of the people I completely blew off recently, there's your answer. I'm sorry. I'm human and I needed to recharge. If you were one of the people who recognized this and said something, thank you for your words and just being a friend when I suck at life.

Hope I didn't kill any brain cells right now or make you waste 2.467 minutes of your life by reading this :)

n00b

I decided to make a video instead of type tonight. These quotes from Andrew Murray and the scripture in Matthew 7 have been such an answer in my time of seeking for answers. I know I can't see the whole stinkin plan He as for my life, so learning to be obedient is so crucial to my walk with Him and unfolding His plan.

Non preoccuparti, sii felice!



(Let me know if the video doesn't work haha)

Shh..

These are just a bunch of random postsecret cards I liked or images I found over time..Thought I would share all my faves! :)

"To the love-starved.."

"..a word of affection can be a feast."

Oh it is so true.
Sometimes even less than a word- maybe a glance or a smile. I am wired as a human to find and feed on affection. If I don't have it, I feel less and less whole. Like a part of me is wrong. I mean, it has to be since no one is acknowledging me right? Of course that's wrong. The LORD gives us more love and acknowledgement than we could ever fathom. It over flows. It never ends. We're just too selfish and caught up in the junk of the world and ourselves. We can't see past the fact that some girl won over the affection of a guy you wanted, vice versa. SO WHAT. Not only do we know that life goes on, but that human affection is temporary. It fades, it fails, and clearly sometimes it is MIA. However, it doesn't exactly make you feel warm and cuddly about being a loner, right? If we turn our eyes to the King and let HIm wrap his arms around us, missing human affection won't phase us. His arms reach farther. We are never alone and the more we surrender these selfish desires of wanting to be "noticed", the more we will realize how perfectly noticed we already are.

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness

Matthew 28:20
teaching them to observe all things that I commanded you. Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

Letter #6

Not quite sure how to start this one, which is strange because I always knew the words to say when I put the pen to the paper. I check my mailbox at least 5 times a day now. I'm not expecting anything at all. I'm just holding on to the hope that it will come. Waiting is such a horrible feeling. It's like the awkward in between of point A and point B. Waiting can make your most perfect response seem less and less perfect after every day and week that passes. "What did you do wrong? Did you really do anything wrong?" I feel like I have nothing to say, but every question in the world to ask you. I know you better than this, I thought I did. You can't pretend that well, not for so long. Is this all I deserve? You were so much more than what you're showing me now. A mentor. A best friend. Someone who could cheer me up no matter what. You made me believe again. You wouldn't have ever made me cry. This can't be you, there has to be a reason. Tell me what happened. You changed my life and you can never take that fact back. Just give me a reason so I can get you out of the back of my mind. It's making me a mess. Pretty sure I miss you.

-Sasha

P.S. Don't forget that miracle..Psalm 91:2

Eye of the storm

I'm asking Yahweh for one thing, only one thing: to live with Him in his house my whole life long. I'll contemplate His beauty, I'll study at His feet. That's the only quiet secure place in a noisy world. Psalm 27:4-5

As I read that verse for the third time I still found myself realizing it's not the one thing I'm asking for. I'm asking Him for mercies over missionaries, family and friend's health..things that aren't normally bad to be asking of the Lord. I'm praying wonderful, long prayers, but I'm not surrendering. I'm praying for others, when I need to let Him in to fix myself. If you're prayer life is anything like mine, make yourself a challenge. If I'm not talking to God throughout my day, is He really my friend? I am going to shrivel up and just sink into the mush of the world if I don't surrender my thoughts, prayers, and ultimately my life to the Lord- not just the sugar coated prayer requests and things easy to digest. Every waking moment should be praise to Him.

If we are truly surrendered then the one thing we will ask is to just study at His feet. To merely be in His presence. And we will be satisfied forever. Isn't that good enough? More than enough?

Hay!

"Whats wrong with you southern girls? You can't make the right decision untill you've tried all the wrong ones!" - Jake, Sweet Home Alabama

Okay so I said I would finish this post later..but I really cant think of anything to say about it. I just love this quote. And that movie.
I think pretty much at this point, I just fully agree with it. I mean at least in my shoes, I feel like 90 percent of the time I screw up, 5 percent I don't and the rest just doesn't count.

So yeah.
I just wasted a minute of your life :]

A part of my heart.

So, I wrote this letter my junior year in high school thinking that only one other person would ever read it. Turns out, a lot of people needed to hear these words..so it's been read multiple times to lots of people. It doesn't decrease the meaning in any way. But I'm putting it out here, because for starters no one really reads this; And if they do and take the time to read this letter, hopefully it will inspire them to write one of their own!

Journey Partner,
I don't know if this day will ever come, if it's His will for me. But I pray hardest for you. That God will make you the strongest man you can be, that He will instill in you the desire for a beautiful family, a heart for missions, a kind spirit, a patient soul, and a love for Him that runs so deep in your veins you can't hide His beautiful light. I pray that God will keep you stable in times of temptations, even now as I write this. I don't know who you are, where you are, or how long it will be until God shows us to each other, but I do pray when that day of HOly Matrimony comes, I have a gift to offer you that is more precious than any stone you could ever place on my finger. You are a true follower of Christ and though the road may have been confusing, and you may have stumbled, the road that leads us to each other will be beautiful.
I know when our day comes, that gift I give to you will be more precious then, than it is right now. I pray you will be able to stand firm from all the tests you may go through that make this one day more special than any other we will ever live.
It's also my prayer that after that beautiful day we will be able to be a strong follower of Christ, as one. That we will be able to be a brighter light together than apart, and in time, we would make a family of followers of Christ; they would be little lights that grow and learn about our awesome God that develop into leaders for Christ.
My last prayer is that you are praying for me like I am praying for you.

I am a cynic.

I don't need someone to spin a load of crap for me.
I don't need to feel defeated when the world disappoints me yet again.
I don't need to look like you.
I need to realize how blessed the Lord has made me.
I need to realize my want, means nothing.
I desire to be nothing of who I am.
Nothing.
I want my whole world to flip upside down if that's what it takes.
I want my dreams to shatter.
I want nothing but this fire to burn.
Nothing.

People harvest only what they plant. Galatians 6:7
My heart is a garden of weeds.
I feel like my vessel is broken and almost useless.
He sees the potential. He sees perfection. He sees me.
He is so jealous for me and so sick of me allowing satan to "eat my stinkin lunch".
How much longer can we thrive on the earth's poison?

I love His open arms