How bad do you want it?

I've been 100% successful in creating partial blogs lately. And in turn, not posting anything. I just haven't really had much to say lately (Say what?!). I would actually REALLY love for people to just "know" what's going on and overwhelm me with incredibly much too personal and prying conversations. Similar to the the transparency of my posts. But I still wait for everyone to jump aboard THAT train. :) haha.

So instead, I'm gonna write a catch up blog like I used to when I first moved away from Tampa.
This is more for me than you, soooo go ahead and open pinterest, try to find the best recipe for Cinnamon Roll Pancakes... and thank me later.

It is December 20 already. I can't believe I have been down here in Boca Raton for almost four months. That's a milestone for my nomadic self. And I plan to be here until the first month of June, in case you were wondering.
And then what Sash?
Well, I am certainly glad ya asked.
There's quite a few scenarios popping through my head, the usual ya know. I'll get the wildcard out of the way: Attend Portland State University for my undergrad in kinesiology. Yup. Why NOT? No reason not to. I'm 21, got a whole lot of years to make worse decisions than going back to school somewhere FAR far away.

Okay, normal plan for after Boca? This might be considered my dream plan, the one that I know won't happen, but I would love for everything to just "happen" this way. Get accepted to TSU or UT. Move in with Katie and Danielle in a house in Austin, TX. Work at lululemon, get my kines degree, coach kids crossfit again at CSC Crossfit and be around the greatest people I have ever met thus far. Oh and maybe get my dog back? haha

Reality plan? Booooo. Here goes:
Apply to schools in Florida, Texas, and a couple of other places (like Portland and Boston). Also apply to lululemons in those places.
Wait.
Wait.
Pray.
Wait.
Pray.
Get acceptance letters.
Pray.
Pray.
*#?!
Pray.
Decide.

And that's kind how she goes. I mean, shoot, if some prince charming comes along and decides he wants to REALLY change my path of destruction errrr I mean adventure, then so be it. But, right now.. I'm not in that season. I am as simple as I'm gonna be and I don't want anything to change or sway my simplicity for a little while. Let me be clearer, it would be silly to move somewhere for something that could only be for a season and leave me in some place I yet again want to leave. Gentlemen, I am open to the idea, but it will take an army to tame this world traveler. Sorry :)


As much as I know, and lots of people who have seen my pure happiness there, know the place where I feel most at home... But, I want this degree and to live a life God intended me to live and I'm at the point where I will sacrifice certain comforts to get there. Am I maybe praying for Austin? Sure. But I know He took me from there, so maybe it's over. I have to realize that. But I also know that the "dessert" I am experiencing now here in soflo is NOT what He has planned for the rest of my life. I serve a God who delivers. He's brought me to a lot of places and maybe a new one is on the way.
I'm scared to go somewhere new AGAIN, because I know what it entails. And mercy, it's not easy. But this is what I want, after 2 years of getting here, I am certain school and pursuing my dream of training athletes is where God wants me now. I'm just not sure where He'll drop me on the map.

Friends, be in prayer (especially if ya want me to live close to ya ;) ) that I would be able to discern between open doors and God given opportunities. I can look anywhere and find an open door, but there may only be one opportunity appointed by God. I am trusting I will seek HIM to get there and pursue it.

Soooo did ya find the pancakes? ;)

Good Word(s)

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year..." 



"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. 
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. 
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy. 
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence. 
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. 
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments." 
— Oriah Mountain Dreamer