Assorted;

TO BE CONT'D:)
If you classify yourself as a prude, this may not be the post for you. That is all.
Collaboration of my fave DBPB:

Dear perfect boyfriend,
Welcome to the club!
Sincerely, Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy

Dear french fry,
I know our love is unusual, but it works.
Sincerely, frosty.

Dear Secular World and Every Guy I've Been On A Date With,
Please stop being so appalled that I'm 24 and have chosen to remain a virgin until marriage. It's not a disease, and I'm fully aware of what I'm "missing out" on.
Sincerely, Clean Vagina

Dear mom,
If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it's because it was my idea.
Sincerely, your daughter is a leader not a follower.

Dear perverted men at the gym,
There are mirrors on every wall, I can see you staring at me.
Sincerely, annoyed female.

Dear car in front of me,
You may know where you live, but I don't.
Sincerely, blinker or GTFO

Dear Women,
Please stop thinking you have to be a size 0 to be beautiful. Those magazines got it all wrong, no one ever told them that beauty is also on the inside. Be confident and happy with yourself. Some guy out there is going to fall in love with everything about you.
Sincerely, a real man

Dear feet,
Please forgive me.
Sincerely, these shoes are just so pretty.