Why I hate cookie cutters

SKIM AND READ BOLD ONLY FOR A SUMMARY. This puppy is LONG.

Let's face it cookie cutters SUCK. I don't mean the colorful shapes cutting your homemade dough (be honest, you bought it) into snowmen and animals and hearts and other fun things to decorate.
I mean the cookie cutters of life. Mainly post 18-year old American life.

Here's my favorite list of them. And by favorite I mean, absolute most bogus (in no particular order).
Not sure why I am feeling pretty fiery about this tonight, so be warned: ZERO FILTER.
And remember folks, I am no expert on any of these. I just have an opinion and I am more than willing to voice it.

1. Graduate high school and go to college.
Right, because our country needs MORE than 37 million people adding to the $1,011,654,459,649 in total outstanding loan debt right now. Countless stories can be found of motivated students and their co-signer parents who wound up declaring bankruptcy because the monthly payments were impossible. The jobs their degrees WERE for either didn't exist, weren't hiring or only hiring "with experience". Don't tell me I need a degree to do the work I want to do -guess what else they want, a little thing called life. Experience in the field. Hands on learning. A degree doesn't get you that. Your degree got your foot in the door, his experience got him the job.

I know this can be rebutted profusely, but in short-the debt isn't worth it. Unless you follow your passions to becoming a doctor or a lawyer etc. where the degree and experience go hand in hand, why not just go find an internship after high school and work your way up? It would be a shit ton less debt. Even getting multiple certifications (cosmetology, hair, carpentry, etc) to discover what you actually might be passionate about could cost less than uni-debt-land.

Not that I have any room to give parenting advice, buuuut I nannied for awhile so it almost counts. Force your kids to eat veggies, not go to college. With that being said, also don't let your kid be a mooch off you until he's 40. HELLUUUR. Advocate for your children as soon as you can- help them discover what they love. Give them the space to be themselves, create themselves and be the man or woman of God they are called to be. Even if it's not what you envisioned. The worst feeling for a child is knowing they disappointed their parents. Don't set that bar there, live in the possibility that your child is going to discover what they're passionate about and they'll tackle it with every fiber in their being. Can you imagine what they'd be capable of if they had that kind of support?


2. Get married, by a house and go on vacations.
Pass. I don't even feel like writing about this one anymore. It's been so viral on the internet and that deflates all my interest in writing about it.
I will say, wherever you are at, be content there. Don't rush a thing. *notetoself*

3. Graduate from college and get a "big boy" job.
Refer to Number 1.
Also..are you freakin kidding me!? You just spent the last 4, okay 5, years of your life inside freezing dingy classrooms and now you have on "real world" goggles? You did not pay $27,000 to get a degree AND get brainwashed. For the love of the world, you're (probably) 23 years old, single and haven't been to 90% of the world, and if you have, skip this one entirely.
Why lock yourself in to corporate America so soon? You can't even afford the suits yet. Get a temp job, a couple of roommates, maybe eat ramen.. but SAVE some money (I know, the loan payments suck, but I won't say told ya so). And then go with said roommate to a new land. Maybe it's the other coast, maybe it's Croatia, maybe it's a volunteer trip. I don't know, but you need that more than you need that resume sent to 900 CEOs or whatever.
See the world. See the world. See the world. 
Open your eyes to some culture. Corporate America and classy suits will be there. Shoot, maybe you'll discover your dream job along the way.

4. Go on a honeymoon somewhere beautiful.
Contrary to the last post, I find honeymoons to be like the puppy strollers that litter the Boca Town Center Mall: unnecessary, overdone.
How about you and your new wifey go on a mission trip together. Or invest that money in the life of an orphan. Or find something that the two of you have huge hearts for and support that. It's like fancy beautiful honeymoons happen because they "are supposed to be". Nooo. You probably blew a pretty penny on that wedding (THAT's another post) so boot the honeymoon.
*You'rewelcomefuturehusband*


5. Mannequins, numbers and sizes interpret what you should look like.
I overheard women yesterday while I was at work saying something along the lines of, "Well, yeah, that's cute, but not everyone looks like that. Nobody is really built like that. Get real.", says the 90 pound yogi to her friend. Bitch, please.
There is NO mannequin that can please everyone. You know how many mannequins we would have on our walls if we did? And someone would still get left out. Be realistic - that mannequin serves to show you what a FREAKIN PAIR OF YOGA PANTS LOOK LIKE, not what you should look like, not what you should weigh and not how tall you should be. If you think they serve to show you the latter then reading my blog is probably step one to waking you the eff up.
If you want cake, eat it. Don't whine about our mannequins for making you feel inadequate though. 


6. Sugarcoating unhealthy and/or obese OR super-fit and healthy, because everyone deserves to be "_____" (insert happy feel good phrase here.)


7. Cookie cutter houses are THE biggest offender. Get the H outta here. blech.


...maybe to be continued