WARNING: Rainbows and Unicorns!

Seriously though, if you are in any kind of sour mood DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. Continue in your sulking, because the next few paragraphs will only bring out the devil in you. Just kidding. But really, I am just on a super happiness high AND this blog is going to vomit rainbows and cheer and marshmallows EVERYWHERE. You have been warned, friend.

WHYAMISOHAPPYEH?

Because I have finally scaled the metaphorical "wall" of GARBAGE that has been plaguing my life for the past two stinkin years. PRAISE DA LORD.
And I honestly wasn't doing anything to get there. I mean I sorta was, but not like planning on this happening RIGHT NOW, it just did. God has seriously been working on my heart for years. I have been really stubborn, cold and prideful, and I knew it, I just didn't act on it whatsoever. So to be in this place right now is almost unreal. I know it's me and I know it IS real, but I can still feel the me from 2 years ago. I remember my thoughts and emotions and feelings and the who and what and why I felt that way... but today I am a 180. Well, more like a 175, I haven't completely perfected and turned around. I have off days like anyone else, but MAN OH MAN. Being here is GOOD.
There's a part of me, a very, little part, that is sneering and laughing at this post entirely. Telling me that I WILL fall back. That I remember the girl I was 2 years ago because I will feel that way again. That the depression will come back. That the pride will never "really" go away. And that this happiness isn't real. For me today, I am choosing to shut that little, stupid voice out. It's simply the devil. He plans to seep in the smallest parts of me and in turn be present in all of me. He plans to eat my stinkin lunch. He plans to steal my joy. I let him steal PURE joy from me many a times in the past 2 years. But no more. The struggle will continue, but I choose joy.

It is my prayer that whoever you are, you can choose joy. I know it wasn't easy to choose joy on the path towards today and I know in the future it won't get any easier. I haven't been here in a long time, but it is overwhelmingly refreshing. And I hope it is not interpreted as boasting about my conquering of my past and living in happiness - that is not the case. But I honestly want everyone I encounter to be contagiously effected by me. Not jealous of me, not turned off by me, but contaminated with JOY! :)


ALSO...
If you haven't figured it out already, I AM COMING HOME! (for 6-8 months at least). And not by force, by choice. Who'da thunk!?

..See you soon 813