WHY OWE EW !

Dear YOU,

I'm making a pledge to you right here, right now. You may be like, What? I don't hardly know you. Or I haven't seen you in years.. or maybe even, yeah right, you won't keep it, just save it.
But here's the thing- I need to. I want to. And quite frankly, I have to. I have to commit to the people who have made up pieces of my life. Some pieces are just corner pieces, and others are giant chunks in the center of my crazy life puzzle, but all play a part nonetheless.
And yes, this is specifically aimed a little better for some rather than others, but it can be an across the board thing :)

To the YOU that I have taken advantage of, taken for granted, and been incredibly out of touch. Sorry is an understatement. This blog is an understatement and cowardly. But I love you and cherish you more than I have ever been able to tell you. I don't show it and we both know that. I'm not sure how to fix this one, but I'm going to make baby steps. Remember that it's just as hard for you as it is for me. That I'm not trying to lash out, be harsh or inconsiderate.. but sometimes those topics push me over the edge. We push each other over the edge. I didn't want any of this to happen, I don't like it and I don't like what I've made of it. But I know God has an awesome plan for my life through it all and I pray you stay in it.

To the YOU that I am neither all or nothing with. To the one I go MIA for a few days, weeks, and even months. You have got to understand where I'm coming from..and maybe you already do. I need you here to make myself believe. My heart knows, but my head tries to outsmart her. I can't apologize for being human and carrying past hurt with me..and for simply being scared. But I can certainly apologize for every roller coaster and let down I ever put you through. I may be the most independent and strong girl you know. But when it comes to what you have, I am scared to death. Don't write yourself out of my life just yet. My brain will catch up to my heart.

To the YOU that has been there somehow through this all. Maybe a day at a time. Maybe checking in every month or so. You are what gets me through the down. Your words mean more than you can imagine. Your simple text picks up my whole day. I don't have you here physically, so everything else just proves that you are genuine and care. Or that I just crossed your mind at some point. Either way, you and your words mean so much to me. Thank you.

So what's the pledge?
To try and give each of you what you have given to me. To not take your words and letters and time for myself but to recycle them back to others, maybe even back to you someday. 
I am still claiming my humanness, but as a daughter of the King I think it's right and fair that I don't use that as a cop out. My claim to being human should not justify mediocrity or forgetfulness. 

BECAUSE I STINKIN LOVE EVERYONE IN MY LIFE AND NEED TO SHOW IT.
:)