On the ground.

I am literally sitting on my bathroom floor as I write this post. Why? Might you ask..

I have actually been in here for about 2 hours now, doubled over in pain, nauseas, exhausted and achy. Can't get anything in or out. And my abdominal/stomach is in more bloody pain than I have ever experienced.

pause.

I just broke the record..
Hadn't hurled since the 7th grade, SEVENTH GRADE! And just times sixed it. ugh. done. Back to this post..waaah.


Sooo this whole episode was quite necessary. Kind of like what pastor spoke on today at church. Our flesh getting devoured by the devil so that we can see our ways are wrong.. or not and just stay in the flesh, getting your flesh devoured by the devil and all the while turning your back on God.
Here's how I am relating vomiting with what I learned at church:

Pains = I know what I'm doing is wrong, but do it anyways
Hurling (x6) = Devil eating my flesh
Aftermath (You don't even want to know) = Staying in sin
Hot shower = Coming back to Truth

See this lil disaster tonight (I'm a vomit phobe folks) was necessary for me to see how wrongly I was treating my body. I had to be "devoured by the Devil" to understand and make the light go on, that something has to give! My body is a temple. A temple that crossfits 6 times a week and runs 4. But I had been lazy and just filling my body with what was convenient. Not taking the time to weigh, portion and pack healthy- let alone paleo meals was hurting me! I suffered because of my lack of care and laziness.
Do I feel better now? Of course I do.
Am I eating donuts now? NEGATIVE.

I see our forgiveness as simple as this:
If you toss your cookies, then you aren't likely to return to those cookies 5 minutes after said tossing.
If we sin and are forgiven of our sin, WHY would we return to said sin?

ponder..?


Moral of it all for me:
-THANK YOU JESUS FOR FORGIVENESS AND MERCY. And healing :)
-Eat FREAKIN clean!
                  I plan on eating all homemade food this week. No processed nonsense. Vegetables, protein and fruit. ..Jump on my bandwagon.