"God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards." I feel like the best lessons, the greatest things are sometimes the hardest pills to swallow when you are at the beginning. Of course you can look back at the end and understand how it perfectly pieced together. But, it's that bitter start thats stings. That pride killing, fist clenching type feeling of being helpless. We all go through it, some of us are just beginning, some of us just got to the end and finally saw the Lord's reward. But we eventually feel it all.
And what does everyone tell you to do: Cast your cares on Him, right? 1 Peter 5: 7. Oftentimes, I personally become numb to the verses people throw at me while I'm in the middle of a major struggle. ALWAYS, scripture is exactly what we need to hear, but the timing can be off or the motives can be wrong. Instead of relying solely on verses...apply it. Don't just robotically tell me a verse like thats gonna make me feel all better. Be genuine and care. I never realized how much I just craved someone to be real and genuine with me. That can call me out, but in the same way encourage my core. Not just the aesthetic encouragement we mimic like we're southern baptist cookie cutters, real genuine CARE. I know that fellowship and encouragement are things that during this time in my life, I need constantly (along with pumpkin lattes).. So in order to get it back, I'm giving it, I'm avoiding it, I'm acting like I don't need it..
What I mean is this:
Should we have to hit rock bottom alone though? How loud do I have to be for you to notice that I need something more than a "how're you?"? Can you really not tell the difference between the pretending and my vulnerability? Who do I need to be for you to notice that I'm not okay and I need you to be His hands and feet?
How long can you keep building those walls around your heart?
And how long can you keep running from who you really are?
Don't you know that he knows you, sees everything you've done
So tell me why you keep trying to fool everyone?
Let it out
Let it out
Everything you've worked so hard to hide
Let it out
Let it out
Leave it at the cross where Jesus died
Take off your mask
Find peace at last
Cause He loves you more than you could ever know
Admit how much you need healing
Trade it all for love and freedom
Trade it all for saving grace
HOPE.
Its gonna get that the best of you
Its gonna lift you up and let you down
It will defeat you then teach you to get back up
After it takes away all that
It will teach you to love what you're afraid of
After it takes away all that
You learn to love
But you don't
Always
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart
You learn to love
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