Archived

I found some old blog posts as I was skimming through my old myspace..
two years ago..some things just don't change.


Swim all the way to the bottom
Current mood:Lost
Have you ever felt like you were seriously the meanest person ever? That you couldn't ever say one word right and every thought in your head was so negative, but you just couldn't stop? Even though you care about someone, they just pushed you too far? You can't tell them what you're thinking and you can't stop thinking it? They're making you crazy? They mean a lot to you, but not more than your own sanity? And then those times when you love someone so much, you know the right thing to do is just be happy for them, but not in ounce in your body can be? Have you ever felt like you think you're everything you swore you'd never become? And then you get these feelings for people you never wish you had or never thought you would ever have, and it's not something you can just stop? Maybe not even that, maybe you can't get someone erased from your life. And that phrase, that stupid phrase that says "If you're thinking of them, they're supposed to be there", no! I sincerely know you're not supposed to be there. Have you ever felt like there will never be anyone to pull you out of the water even when there's a crowd of people? Like there's never gonna be that one person to stick up for you even when you make the biggest fool of yourself. And your patience is running ever so thin, you pray to God for them every day. Have you ever felt like your so deep in your own crap that you're never gonna make it out alive? Like every day is "Sucks to be you day" and no one really understands?
I have.


When the shadows seem to become heavy and thick with smoke
You'll give me fresh air to breath

When the pressure of the world begins to be too much for my weak soul
You step in and take my load

When my hands over my ears alone is not enough to drive out the persecution
You show me the scars on your hands and reassure me it's going to be okay

When it seems like all is lost and I never want to see another waking day
You take me by the hand and say, "When have I not been faithful?"

Those times when I get so angry I doubt you
You remind me that You test me because You trust me

The times when I am so disappointed
You show me Your beautiful shining face

When I worry about the future
You remind me it is nothing compared to the day I get to see Your glory

When I cry,
You count every tear

When there's no one looking
I will still praise Your name