Make up your mind

It's gonna sound like there is absolutely no relevance in the things i write on this post, but it makes sense for me. So just be confused..
There are times when I feel like some people were created to make me smile, some to push me, and even a few to drive me absolutely crazy. Sometimes one person encapsulates all three. That's when I find it easy to let go. To forget everything anyone ever told me about how not to be naive, and let go. And that's okay. But not when I'm made to feel like that wasn't enough. That me completely letting go just wasn't good enough. What hoop did I miss? What line did I cross? Can you make up your mind instead of letting my mind go crazy wondering what's going on in your head? Please.
I think I have some kind of sign on my forehead that says, "Make her happy, then confuse the hell out of her and don't give her a reason!" Seriously. I'm at the point of not having a care or worry in the world, yet at the same time worrying my fool head off. I am so afraid of failure I literally shut down and shut everything out. Make it stop.
Oh and am I really not worth being told the honest truth? Is it that difficult to face the facts or is it just easier to be in total denial. I think it's cowardly and I think it's the lowest blow anyone could give to someone. Not being worth the truth. Lied to.
Why are we taught to believe that other people' happiness comes before honesty? Frankly, how can I be happy in the situation if I have no idea what's going on. But keep on keepin things from me and I'll be happy as a peach, right? NOPE. Even if it's the worst thing in the world, and you think it's gonna break me. I'll think so much higher of you if you have the morals to be honest. The honesty will stick by your name in my book. But if I have to find out another way, that makes me pretty bitter, and disappointed.

I sound like a complaining-diva-brat-jerk-spoiled-high maintenance-terd.
But sometimes, I need to.

BTW, Captivated by Stefani Germanotta (aka Lady Gaga) is wonderful.