Not as it seems

Well hello friends.

I am finally coming out from underneath my big long transition/move/life-never-stops-moving-phase. I am still in transition mode, even though life in Texas has been full swing since I got here 2 weeks ago. I haven't really had a whole lot of time to sit and reflect on this most recent opportunity in my life. But I can tell you a few things:

1. It is good.
2. God's plan is apparent and being revealed more and more each day.
3. Doubts still seep in during times of provision, my heart must always be prepared.
4. I am in a season of overwhelming gratitude.

1. It is good. I can't tell you how scary it was to basically go 180 degrees from being a registered student at USF to a resident in Austin again - all in the same month. Scary in the sense that I am human and can only see my palm in front of my face and not the whole picture. But God clearly made a way when I felt like there was NO way. I am so gracious to serve a God who meets my needs - physically, financially and in this case, the need of my heart to be back in the community I belong. The place where I hope to serve for a lot longer. It's good to be home.

2. God's plan is apparent and being revealed more and more each day. This move has been challenging in a lot more ways than I expected - mainly due to the incredibly quick transition. I was really challenged literally the instant I got here to trust God 110% with everything. I was fighting to control this move and every aspect of it, but God simply needed me to give it over to Him, swallow my pride, ask for a little help, humility and accept the body of Christ that He placed in my path. Can I tell you how good it is to accept gifts from God. Blessing over blessing when we stop trying to fend for ourselves. He is so much bigger than our stinkin pride. Give it up, man.

3. Doubts still seep in during times of provision, my heart must always be prepared. Even though the past two weeks have been and over-abundance of provision, (having multiple jobs to pick from, friends all over to love and support me new AND old) I have had a hard time keeping the tunnel vision of my calling, how I got here, and honestly just struggling with being straight up selfish and fleshly, that's a word right?
What I mean is that I have been able to SEE God working and providing in my life and somehow, that just isn't enough for my human mind. I find myself living for Sasha and not out of utter humilty that God would even bless my life as much as He has. Instead, I live like a little PUNK and I expect all the provisions He's given. Gotta check myself, bring it in and realize that I may have wanted to move back here, but G-O-D made it happen. I don't want any part of my life to be questionable, I want it to all be for one purpose: "Know God and make Him known". Simple.

4. I am in a season of overwhelming gratitude.
With all of this being said. I AM SO STINKING THANKFUL! I find myself just driving around with a smile plastered to my face because I am in awe of how seamless this happened, and that I LIVE HERE again! God has taken care of me, given me a community to die for, coworkers, roommates, new friends, old friends, families that would call me one of their own and so much more. I have nothing to complain about. Except that I wish I had more time, but I know life will become routine again and I will get that time to catch up with the supporters I have back in Tampa. I have chills. Man. I have the best of the best people in my life. I wouldn't trade a single one of you.
If you've read this far, and you maybe haven't talked to me in weeks, know this: I LOVE YOU. I am thankful for you. In this season of my life, I have to let some relationships take a backseat, while I get my life here settled. I am realizing that I am not superwoman and I can't take on so much. Most of you don't like the Sash that takes on the world. Be patient, friends.