The past 2 weeks have felt like a long "out of body" experience. I'm not sure if you can relate to that, or if you'd want to really. I don't know how everything just starts to turn into a blur and get all mixed up and before I know it I'm the most introverted person I know. Sometimes I think that I messed up, I failed, just at life itself. Is that possible? Can I really screw up at calculus, or being a sister and a daughter, or at relationships and friendships, and physics and writing papers- can I seriously screw that up? Does it really matter? Noooooope. It's of this world, so it can't matter! That's a really flipping hard pill to swallow, right up there with pride.
Anyways, these past 2 weeks right? The Lord is showing me some amazing stuff. Looking back to just a month ago, I know He has big plans for this year and He is going to use me, but He's makin some changes for sure. School still blows, and I still suck at school, I do. But! He's getting me through it all and giving me the tools to keep me sane for a few more months. As for being a mega introvert for 2 weeks.. I'm not sure I know why that happened, I think I just created this huge web of stuff to take on and it basically got insanely tangled and I just shut down. I didn't do anything- I mean that literally. I haven't been to spin class in 2 weeks, I haven't been to Cru or The Tree, I haven't hung out with anyone, nadaaa! Lamesauce?! Yeah, but I needed it. I needed to figure out what the heck I was doing and WHY the heck I wasn't letting God do it.
Now that that stage is over and I'm moving on to the next scene in my life, I can tell you, those 2 weeks were well worth it. I would do it again for how the Lord has blessed my walk and given me the encouragement through random and unexpected experiences.
So if you were one of the people I completely blew off recently, there's your answer. I'm sorry. I'm human and I needed to recharge. If you were one of the people who recognized this and said something, thank you for your words and just being a friend when I suck at life.
Hope I didn't kill any brain cells right now or make you waste 2.467 minutes of your life by reading this :)
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